The Great Wall

Warning: This will be the worst blog posting of them all (I hope) so read carefully and don't read at all if you have a light stomach.

The group rose early this morning for breakfast and then a trip to the Great Wall. Joe and I rose a bit earlier than most and took a trip to the bank! When we got back we enjoyed the breakfast provided with the tour and then our entire group boarded the bus to the Mutianyu section of the wall. Our guide was Chinese but learned English with an Australian accent so it made for some great listening. We learned a lot on the way over and then all became silent as we caught our first glimpses of the wall, known as the world's largest cemetery because of the estimated 1 million people who died building it in its 20 iterations.

When we got there we were set free by our guide and immediately took cable lifts to the top. John Anderson narrated while I filmed the journey up. As soon as we reached the wall-level, we continued climbing. We expected a trek but we didn't expect SO MANY stairs! Our party first decided to climb to stations 1-4 and so we went right and immediately began climbing up, and up, and up. At the first station we were exhausted... and this was five minutes into our visit! Some of the stairs were over a foot high and they alternated with ones that were nary a few inches tall. We went on, chugging 5RMB waters like they were mother's milk, until we reached the last of the first four sections. This was the end of the reconstructed and restored areas of the wall and past this there was a sign warning against going further.

We went further (like everyone else) and got a taste of what the ruins of the wall were like: grass and weeds bursting through 700 year old stones, toppled towers and railings, and a good amount of "presents" left by tourist hikers who thought they were unique or rebellious in venturing off the beaten path.

At the sight of those "presents," most members of our group turned back and decided to explore the rest of the restored wall. Climbing down the 60 degree steps proved to be only a bit easier than going up and we made it back to the entrance. Great, now we have 20 stations to go! We continued climbing and taking scenic and staged photos until about station 14, leaving 10 on the table, and we were going pretty much full realistic speed most of the time. Some of the more adventurous VGs (John Dreyzehner) claimed to scale the entire 7km wall section but we felt accomplished with our 5km in the beating sun.

The way down was a treat - a long toboggan ride down to the park entrance featuring some drafting, bumping, and VG battling. When we got back we bought some souvenirs for friends and family and then headed further down to our lunch included in the tour. This lunch was at Mr. Yang's Cafe and proved to be the best one of the trip, yet. It was a full dim-sum lunch with some amazing delicacies and lots and lots of rice. Your author proved to consume just a bit too much rice and this fact bit him in the very worst way on the ride home. Helplessly I flagged down our guide about 10 minutes into our 1.5 hour ride and begged him to stop our bus at a restroom, or restaurant, or anything. He found me a restroom... in the middle of a run-down town... and 'rest' room is the loosest way to put it.

We stopped and I apologetically hobbled to the front of the bus, clutching my dignity in one hand and shoving my class ring into my pocket with the other. The guide laughed and led me to the horrid scene: an open cement room with four squat-holes on one side and only God knows what below. One catch: no toilet paper. Almost no Chinese bathrooms, and certainly not my rural tomb, come equipped with toilet paper. I shuffled back toward the bus, careful not to upset the contents of my angry belly, and saw that the VGs were documenting this most embarrassing moment with my new camcorder. I pleaded with them for tissues until Dreddy came to the rescue with two small napkins. These would be my only relief.

I returned to my nightmare chamber, put my nose into my shirt, and carefully did the deed. I emerged a broken and humbled man a minute later and climbed back onto the bus to a round of applause from the rest of the tourists and the VGs. I sat on the bus for the next hour wondering what had become of me.

Now we've all returned to our hostel, showered (thank God,) and are resting before heading out to Renmin University to perform for students and the general public in the Law Building. Come join us if you're free!